awkward

A few weeks ago, HDL, SWT and I had a conversation in which we all agreed that it was unusual for us to form the sort of chatty intimacy with baristas that some others seem to find routine. Not long afterward, I told them about how I seemed to have accidentally fallen into a relationship of exactly that type with the barista at the coffee shop I frequent. Part of the chattiness derives from the barista (we have not gotten as far as names) guessing what I want. This isn't a particularly difficult feat--I always get a latte, and with temperature the only variation. When it's hot outside, I get it iced; when cold, hot.

This morning I went drove through the drive through right before work--usually I go later in the afternoon. I was surprised to see two baristas--one whom I think is the owner, and the chatty one. I suppose they're probably busier in the morning. Anyway, after the owner barista took my order (a regular latte) and went to make it, Chatty McChattersons came by to take my money, and blithely commented, "Soooo, getting it hot this morning?" I just stared at him and said, "Excuse me?!" He repeated himself: "You getting it hot this morning?" It will probably seem exceedingly evident to all readers that this comment referred to the coffee. It did not seem so to me, and the only meaning I could ascertain, after frantically searching my brain for any other possibilities, was very, very dirty. Thinking to myself that although I did pick out quite a fine outfit this morning, such comments were nevertheless inexplicable, surprising, rather unprofessional, and quite beyond the level of the chattiness we'd already established. So all I could say was "What?!?" and look very confused. At this point I think he figured out what I'd thought he meant, and he also got very surprised and said, of course, "The latte. You want it hot?" And then I understood and started laughing like crazy and he said my mind was in the gutter. I had to agree. Perhaps it's best that I just maintain my cool distance with baristas in the future.

. . .